There is a kind of heaviness that comes from God, the kind that matures you, roots you, and teaches you to stand.
And then there is the heaviness that never belonged to you in the first place.
Most of us learn the difference only after we’ve carried the wrong weight for too long.
Soul-esteem teaches you to recognize the signs early.
Because when your soul is out front, you pick up every burden as if it’s your assignment.
Every crisis feels like your responsibility.
Every emotion in the room feels like your job to fix.
Every silence sounds like rejection.
Every need feels like a test you must pass.
But when your spirit leads, you start asking better questions:
• Is this mine to carry?
• Or did I pick this up because I didn’t want to disappoint someone?
• Did I take this on because I felt obligated? Or because I felt called?
• Is this weight building me, or burying me?
Here’s the thing nobody tells you about spiritual maturity:
You grow faster when you stop dragging unnecessary weight into every season.
I had to learn this the hard way.
There was a time when I mistook exhaustion for obedience.
When I assumed that if something was heavy, it must be holy.
When I believed that being the “strong one” meant being the silent one.
When I lived as if my value came from how much I could endure rather than how much I could discern.
But God is gentle enough to break that belief in pieces, slowly, kindly, and unmistakably.
One day, in a moment of quiet honesty with myself, I realized I had been carrying the emotional weight of three lifetimes.
The pressure to be everything for everyone.
The responsibility to rescue.
The unspoken demand to understand people who never tried to understand me.
The expectation to hold it together while others fell apart.
The silent fear that if I set a boundary, I’d lose the people I loved.
That was the day the Spirit reminded me:
You were not created to be everyone’s anchor.
God never asked us to carry more than He equips us for.
He never asked us to trade our peace for people-pleasing.
He never asked us to live suffocated so others could breathe easier.
Some of the things you’re holding were not assigned to you; they were handed to you.
And there is a difference.
When you let the wrong pressure sit on your chest long enough, you forget what normal feels like.
Your body normalizes tension.
Your soul normalizes chaos.
Your mind normalizes the noise.
Until one day you realize that you haven’t taken a deep breath in months.
Soul esteem releases what self-esteem tries to tolerate.
Self-esteem says, “I can handle it.”
Soul esteem says, “God never asked me to.”
When you start releasing weight that was never yours:
• Your mind clears.
• Your spirit steadies.
• Your body relaxes.
• Your purpose sharpens.
• Your peace returns home.
And here’s the miracle:
What once felt like drowning begins to feel like deliverance.
If today feels heavy, ask yourself this:
Is this God’s weight…
or someone else’s expectations?
You don’t honor God by carrying what’s killing you.
You honor Him by surrendering what He never assigned.
Let the unnecessary fall.
Let the Spirit lead.
Let peace rise.
You were never built to carry everything —
just the things that make you whole.
~Jackie
For the woman who’s tired of pretending she’s fine while she suffocates under weight God never gave her.
